Life tip: bring a book with you everywhere you go
Life pro tip: bring two, in case you finish the first one.
Bigger life pro tip: Bring a kobo/kindle with you everywhere so you have an entire library with you at all times.
Ultimate life pro tip: live in a library and never ever leave.
Supreme life tip: Become a library
It’s hilarious that we live in a society that will shame you for how much sex you have and for the junk food you eat. Like, wow, how dare you eat delicious foods and have orgasms, you’re a monster. Enjoy your miserable life filled with pleasures.
- *looking at my legs*: Oh my god why
- *looking at my stomach*: Oh my god why
- *looking at my arms*: Oh my god why
- *looking at my face*: Oh my god why
- *trying to exercise*: Oh my god why
- *eating shitty food*: Oh my god why
- *weighing myself*: Oh my god why
- *looking at my life*: Oh my god why
- *looking at my music taste*: cool man
Fun shark attack facts:
- In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
- For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.
- Humans are assholes.
- Sharks are not assholes.
- Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.